The Life of An Empty Nester

 I think it's finally hit me that I (we) are empty nesters. I came home today, put the groceries up and sat down with the dogs. I read a bit, took a nap, put up clean dishes.....just piddled about. Went out to the garden and watered - and it hit me. I'm an empty nester. No kid to pick up anymore. No band or theatre schedule to live and die by. No worrying about what time my kid is going to be home from work or their friend's houses. I still have Life360 on them and know where they are but it's different now. I was more nervous about their whereabouts when they lived at home then I am now that they are in Washington. It's just bizarre.  And then there are the socks. My socks don't come up missing anymore. My kid was constantly gaslighting me about my socks but no bullshit - since they left I'm not ordering socks off of Amazon because mine were disappearing. Seriously. It's like a new world. 

I'm also eating a sandwich for dinner. And drinking a bottle a wine. Guess that's also a result of being an empty nester. I'm slowly getting used to not cooking. I always cooked for an army since we had a teenage boy in the house and it was a hard habit to break. Then I was cooking for three but I still cooked like there were five of us. Gary and I are slowly adapting to being by ourselves and not making enormous meals. It's hard sometimes. Food is my love language and I want to feed everyone that I love. Or like. Go away if I don't like you. I won't feed  you.

I've got one final exam to take. I've finished my extra credit research studies and the exam in Psychology and the Law is all I have left. I went on a semi-tangent on last Thursday's shitshow about the criminal justice system. Bottom line - don't get in trouble. And, NEVER, EVER speak without an attorney present. EVER. I MEAN EVER PEOPLE. Our system is so fucked up. So fucked up. Just don't do it. Anyways....I've thoroughly enjoyed this semester. Summer semester starts May 30th. I'm so excited. ABNORMAL PSYCHOLOGY IS ON THE SCHEDULE!!! I can't wait, ya'll! My fall semester is going to be fire. I'm just so ate up with school, ya'll. I love it. I just want to stay in school and keep learning. It makes me so damn happy.

My garden is doing amazing. I'm so happy with how everything is looking and even with all of the rain we've been getting, I'm still watering just about every day. I don't normally use pesticides but bugs have been bad this year. I dusted everything with Sevin Dust. Sometimes you do what you have to do. I bought a veggie wash to clean my veggies just to be on the safe side. I don't sell them at Farmer's Market and if I give them to the neighbors or family, I always let them know what's on them. 

That's really all I have for ya'll. It's a Tuesday and I've had my wine, I've watered my garden and it's been a good night. I need to study for my test and stay on top of orders this week. We are going to St. Jo in a few weeks to cook chili and see HAYES CARLL HELL YEAH and then to Jamaica Beach. I'm not sure if I'll even cook chili while I'm there. The water may be too much of a temptation for me. We are taking Muriel, my 1974 Lark and Lemmy and Waylon. This should be fun.

Kelly

Well, The World Didn't End.......

The eclipse has come and gone. We survived. The aliens did not come and beam us up. Not even this dude......

Lord B made himself a foil hat and wore it while he was mowing before the big event and then during the eclipse. Everyone in our neighborhood took a picture of him. I took a video of him mowing and sent it to our kiddo and they DIED. You can't make this shit up.

Speaking of the kiddo, they will be home in two weeks. They're only staying for a few days and have a friend's baby shower to attend. They'll also need to spend plenty of time with Gammy so I'm not sure that we will see them all that much. That's okay...they need to spend time with my mom. Juice will be back in September for Twenty One Pilots. We have floor tickets but there will be no overnight camping on the street for barricade position. They're going to have to tough it out at the back of the floor like the rest of the regular people. The ticket buying process last week went smoothly for the Austin and Dallas tickets. Gary and I were finished buying tickets within five minutes. Then I had to wait for tickets to go on sale for the Seattle show, where the kiddo will see them. The Ticketmaster site kept crashing and kicking me back out into the queue and I would have to enter the presale code AGAIN, wait to buy tickets and watch them vanish while I was trying to buy them. Floor sold out the first time I was in the queue and it was like playing Whack a Mole to get the ones I ended up with for them and their partner. Yes, they are nosebleed tickets, but I'm so glad I was able to get them. I had that feeling in my stomach and my mouth was getting hot - you know how you get before you're going to throw up - while I was trying to secure tickets. They're going to see them here in Dallas with me but they want to see them in Seattle as well. And they are paying me for their tickets since they are a gainfully employed adult now! That was last week's ticket saga. The next task is to find an AirBnB or good hotel for the stay in Austin over Labor Day weekend for my birthday celebrations and Twenty One Pilots. A good friend is joining us and I can't wait to show them around Austin. It's going to be a great time!

I've registered for my summer classes and I'm taking Abnormal Psychology (yes, FINALLY!), Business Communications, and Research in The Digital Age. Tomorrow I register for fall classes and I have Philosophy (my minor), Contemporary Moral Issues, Psychopharmacology, and Learning scheduled. I'm really excited about the next two semesters. I'm getting really close to the finish line and I should be able to graduate by Fall 2025. I can't believe I've come so far since I started this journey in 2021. I'm really proud of myself for sticking with it and not stopping with my associates degree. My goal when I started was to get my Master's in counseling. A Master's degree is still my goal but I'm not 100% sure it will be in counseling. I've been thinking about continuing with psychology or even social work. Lots of possibilities.

I went to the SPCA with my dad last Friday and looked at a few dogs. My mom is on hospice and really, really wants another dog. She misses having a dog around and all of us (me, my sister, and my dad) all agree that a dog would bring a lot of joy into my mom's daily life and help her deal with what is happening. So off we went and met a precious little girl named Remi. I was like come on Bowden, this is the one. But, he wasn't ready to pull the trigger, so to speak. So he thought about it and Sunday we went back and he adopted her! She was so good on the ride to their house and she loved the toys that my sister had for her when she got to her new home. And being a shelter dog, you know she loved running in the backyard. Remi is so sweet and gets up on the couch with my mom and dad. My mom is on oxygen and I think Remi is really aware of that so she's very careful around her. She likes to lay in my sister's bed while she games and likes bites of toast from mom. I'm so glad they adopted her. Remi is playful and goofy and I know she's going to keep my mom's spirits up with everything going on. 

Have you subscribed to Mild Bill's monthly newsletter? Go to the website and about halfway down there is a place to sign up. Each month I send an email out with spice info, a discount code, and other chili world/spice happenings. I will be scheduling Competition Chili 101 classes this week and sending an email and FB blast out once the dates are set. 

I made bucatini with meatballs and sauce the other night and it was delicious. If you don't subscribe to the NY Times Cooking subscription, do yourself a favor and spend the $6 every month to have access to hundreds of thousands of killer recipes. Melissa Clark's meatball recipe is foolproof and I make Marcella Hazan's tomato sauce regularly. I made the meatballs the other night but I took the easy way out and used Michael's of Brooklyn's Homestyle Gravy in a jar. That is an excellent brand of sauce that you can find at Brookshires, Sprouts, and Amazon. We love it. It isn't full of preservatives and it's not overly sweet. I normally make my own sauce but when I don't feel like it, Michael's is what I use. I think it's much better than Rao's, which is overrated in my opinion. I've put the meatball recipe on the recipe page of the blog. The recipe calls for a pound of meat, panko crumbs, and an egg and then your seasonings of choice. The recipe I'm sharing is how I make it.

I think I'm going to call it a night. I have to get up at 3:45am to be ready for registration which opens at 4am tomorrow morning. I was going to work on psychology and the law but I'll get it done this week. I'm not behind, but I want to stay caught up, ya know. I've got one of my playlists going in the background and one of the songs from Game of Thrones is playing. It's the song that played when Arya Stark killed the Night King. That was such an amazing series. I told Gary I want to start watching House of Dragon. I may rewatch GOT. I've read the books and I don't think George R.R. Martin is ever going to finish the series. Anyways...yes, I'm that person. I read the books. And I let you know if they make the books into a series or a movie. Oh, do I let you know...haha!

Kelly

The New Normal

Hello folks.  It's Monday.  I would be dangerous if I could get my head out of my ass.  I've had plenty of coffee.  I ate.  I've drank water.  I don't know what my problem is.  I'm just going to blame it on Monday and the wind.  It's very windy today.  I do not do well in or with the wind.  I hear everything and it's just so unsettling. I'm glad the sun is out and that it's a nice day, but I would be a lot happier if the wind would just die down.  Please.

Talked to our child today and they sent a pic in the Fam text of their over easy eggs and toast they made for breakfast.  Pretty proud of the kiddo these days.  They are working, living with their partner and some friends and just kicking ass in this game of life! There was an emergency phone call from them Saturday while they were at Ulta about eye cream.  I loved it.  If there's one thing I've taught my child it's take care of your damn skin!!! I sent them some Estee Lauder eye gel that irritated my under eyes and it doesn't bother their skin so hell yeah! They've been complaining of under eye bags since starting their job which requires them to wake up at 5am every day.  The horror...LOL.  I shouldn't be an ass....I think waking up at 5am is inhumane unless I'm getting on a plane somewhere I want to go (like NOLA) or in line for concert tickets for Radiohead or The Smile or Twenty One Pilots.  That's different.

So it's a little different without the kiddo here at the house anymore.  For one thing, Lord B and I have GOT to learn how to cook for two people.  My gods! I still cook like we have a houseful of people and we are not the best about eating leftovers.  Tonight we are having hot roast beef sandwiches using the leftover roast from last night.  I don't know why we have an aversion to leftovers but we are kind of weird about them.  Now if it's fried chicken I will eat that cold the next day for breakfast.  And lunch!  Same with fried catfish.  And we will eatr leftover pizza.  And meatloaf.  So I guess there are some things that we will eat the next day.  Maybe part of the reason is I like to cook and I feel like I'm missing out or not doing my "job" if I'm not cooking.  I may need to bring that up with my therapist LOL.

If you've watched any of the recent Shitshows you've heard me talk about Intro to Contemporary Logic.  Well I dropped that class.  And intro class my ass.  It had an upper level course number.  It was not an intro class like Philosophy 1301 that I signed up for next Fall.  I don't have to have a logic class for my minor, which is Philosophy, nor do I have to have it for my major, so I dropped it and took a W since it was after the drop date.  After I did it there was a Q out to the side of the course name and I told Gary it was Q for QUITTER!!!! Fuck it I don't care.  There class was just too much.  I watched my professor's videos, read the material, looked at the examples, watched videos on youtube and still had a hard time turning sequents into well formed formulae.  But enough about that.  I don't have to worry about it anymore.  I'm taking a light load this semester and I think I needed it.  I was having panic attacks ALL THE TIME and my therapist and psychiatrist both kept telling me maybe I should back off school and take less classes.  I kept telling them NO!!!  I must carry twelve hours - summer included!  Well the universe finally had enough of me not listening and I'm taking six hours now and I'm much happier for it.  I LOVE both of the professors I have for Critical Thinking and Psychology and the Law.  I'm glad I took a few steps back.  I've planned my summer and fall schedules and I'll be back on track.  I think.  I hope.  Fingers crossed!

If you're at Texas Open this weekend, come find me and say hi! I'll be there probably cooking chili but definitely cheering on all of our fabulous customers! And if you're at the Houston Rodea BBQ Cook Off, look for the Navarro Co BBQ team.  Lord B will be there smoking meat.  They always have a great time and it looks like decent weather in both San Antonio and Houston this weekend.

I don't know how often I'll be blogging but my goal is to keep in touch once a week.  This is linked to my website so it's not going to be as free flowing as it was in the past if you get my meaning LOL!! I will be adding recipes here (there's a new one on the recipe page now) and trying to communicate about cook offs and Mild Bill's Spices info.  I hope everyone has a great week.

Keep it Spicy!

Kelly

Greetings and Salutations

Welcome to a new week! I had forgotten that I linked my blog to my website.  Imagine my horror when I started reading some of my past entries.  In my defense, those are like five years old and I was a much different person.  I know a lot of you reading this don't know me personally but I can assure you I am not as forthcoming with my personal life and struggles as I used to be.  Chalk it up to getting older.

In other news, the spice world continues to keep me busy and smelling like cumin, garlic, and Mexican oregano.  When I'm cremated that 's what will waft from the crematorium as I burn.  My ashes will probably smell like that concoction, too.  The wave of Super Bowl orders have come and gone and now we are just getting our daily onslaught of regular orders from chili cooks all over the world.  I received an order from Inverness, Scotland and it is taking everything I have not to book a flight and hand deliver it myself.  I'll try to refrain from writing anything cheesy on the order about standing stones and Outlander :)

I'll make this short and sweet.  Like I said, it's busy.  I clicked on the blog link from the website and was surprised to see the blog come up. I've got labels to print, orders to fill, and of course, school work.  School is kicking my ass this semester.  I'm not cut out for Contemporary Logic and I see myself dropping that class before my head gets any more fucked up over premises, conclusions, and well formed formulae.  I don't know what I was thinking dropping one of my psychology classes and keeping this one.  I actually wasn't thinking at the time.  I was sick, in the hospital, and not in control of my faculties.  I'm going to chalk it up to Crohn's and Sepsis.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Keep it Spicy,

Kelly

Vacay Notice

Happy Friday!  Just a quick post to let everyone know I'll be closed at the end of the month while I go on a birthday trip.  I doubt I need to tell ya'll where I'm going!  Have a Spicy Weekend!

****ICS COOKS – PLEASE READ****

I will be closed August 29^th thru Sept 3^rd.  I will reopen on Wednesday Sept 4^th.  Any orders placed after 12pm CST on Wednesday August 28^th WILL NOT BE PROCESSED AND SHIPPED UNTIL I REOPEN ON THE 4^TH.  There will be a delay while I get caught up.  If you need spices for Worlds, DO NOT WAIT until I got out of town to place your order.  I cannot guarantee that I will be able to ship it in time when I reopen.  Choosing Express Shipping will get it to you faster once it ships, but it will not affect the processing time – orders will be processed in date order and shipped accordingly.  I want each and every one of you to kick ass in Iowa so place your orders ASAP so that I can get the freshest spices to you for Worlds!  Thank you for your continued business!

~SM

Bittersweet Bliss

I'm slinging spices uninterrupted today since my doctor appointment was canceled.  My GI doc's office called me at 9:45 am and told me - didn't ask - TOLD ME that I needed to come in at 12:45 instead of my original appointment time.  I was like sorry, no can do.  So then she TOLD ME to come in at 12:15.  Uh no...sorry.  I explained to her that I own a business, it's just me and I'm waiting on FedEx today.  I probably could have made it work but I didn't quite like being told what to do and I immediately rejected both of her offers.  So I'll work all day, go to yoga and then go home.  It'll be fabulous.  I've missed yoga as I've had to cut back because of my neck.  I have two pinched nerves and bone spurs.  Whether you care or not, I'm going to tell you WHY I have pinched nerves and bone spurs.

My boobs.

Yep, my boobs.  My boobs are so GD big that they've pulled my neck and spine forward and in the process caused bone spurs and pinched nerves.  Considering I woke up in the 3rd grade as a B cup, I don't have a lot of faith that these suckers are going to shrink much as I lose weight.  I saw a pain mgmt doc last week and got 5 shots in my neck and shoulder.  Unfortunately they didn't help and I had an MRI yesterday.  I'm kind of weird about someone cutting on my neck so I think I'm going to go the pill route for awhile and see if that helps.  If not then I will entertain the idea of getting a shot in my neck where the pinched nerves are located.  If you've ever hurt your neck you know how f*cking painful a "pain in the neck" can be.  Sorry...had to do it.  Did it to the doctor and he legit rolled his eyes at me :)  I'm also seeing a plastic surgeon about reducing these bad boys so that they don't cause any more damage to my neck and spine.  Fun times.

Yesterday was mine and Lord B's 17th wedding anniversary.  We got married in Vegas at the same chapel as Elvis and Priscilla, Frank Sinatra and Mia Farrow and others.  There was red crushed velvet covering the pews and a beautiful stained glass window that provided a fabulous backdrop the the snot that was hanging out of Gary's nose while he was crying.  It glistened.  And for those of us who witnessed it, it has continued to provide boisterous laughter among all of us.  And Lord B is such a good sport about it.  He laughs too...probably while plotting our deaths :)

So I titled this post Bittersweet Bliss because I believe that is a more accurate portrayal of any long term relationship.  To people who don't know us very well, we seem to have an idyllic marriage that has been rainbows and unicorns.  I can assure everyone it hasn't been.  And, no, this is not a slam against Lord B.  I know he feels the same way and will agree when I say it's taken 17 years for us to figure this shit out.  There have been times when we had no business being married to each other and probably should have left one another.  There have been times when those closest to us probably thought we should split up before we killed each other.  Seriously.  Marriage (or any partnership) is not easy.  There is nothing simple about merging two strong willed, stubborn personalities into something that should be a reflection of both people involved.  The worst thing you can do when you get married (I'm going to use that term since that's the relationship I'm in) is lose yourself.  Alternately, the hardest thing to do in a marriage is stay true to who you are and preserve your individuality without making your partner feel like they're on the outside looking in.  It's a balancing act and it can be fucking maddening.  Counseling has been a game changer for us over the past few years.  We've been able to work on ourselves so that we can be true friends and partners to one another.  I think the past 2 1/2 years of our marriage have been the best.  I know now that we are in such a good place that our marriage will continue to strengthen and we will keep doing the work and making the choice to be with one another because we've finally started to figure this shit out and you know what, it's pretty fucking awesome. 

So to me, that's why I believe our bliss is bittersweet.  We've had to deal with some pretty heavy shit in the past 17 years - the hardest of which has been in the past year.  If we hadn't started working on ourselves and our marriage a few years ago, we wouldn't have survived the past year.  We wouldn't have had the tools to be there for each other, for our kiddo and not self destruct.  I'm proud of us.  And I'm proud of anyone who sticks together and does the work to make it a partnership worthy of their love and time.  I'm not talking about standing by your man/woman when your man/woman is a piece of shit.  Nor am I advocating for everyone to stay married when it's clear that they have no business being together.  Everyone is different and every relationship has it's issues - some of them can be dealt with and sometimes the issues are just too much to get past.  I get that.  I've been there.

We narrowly survived not going to NOLA for our anniversary.  We had a birthday dinner for Bubba Sunday night, an anniversary dinner for us last night and reservations are made for Pappas Bros. Steakhouse for Friday night.  I already know what I'm going to order and I'm crossing my fingers that they have a bottle of our favorite wine on hand.  It will be glorious!

Check out the recipe page of the blog.  I'm going to add a few of the recipes I cooked for Bubba's birthday and our anniversary.  I'll post pics as well. If you make any of the dishes PLEASE send me an email or comment on the blog with your feedback.  I'm testing out recipes and would love to hear from anyone who tries out a recipe I've posted. 

I hope everyone has a fabulous day.  I'm going to snort a few lines of cayenne and get after it.  Keep it real.

SM

Adulting Can Kiss My Ass

Good evening. I hoped to be blogging from my co-pilot chair on the way to our spirit home.  Instead I’m at home because responsibilities suck and Lord B and I decided to cancel our trip.  Yep...no Red Dress Run for us this year. Our tutus and my devil horns are still packed away in the closet crying silent tears of sadness. This is the sucky part of owning a business and being the HMFIC. When it’s busy, it’s all on you and you can’t just take off....even though I REALLY NEED to GTF out of town for a few days. I’m super thankful for all of the orders and I wouldn’t dare complain about all the business coming my way right now.  But still, I am human and a bit of a brat so you know I’m going to complain just a little bit!  But it’s all good! We have a trip planned for my birthday weekend which also happens to be Southern Decadence so I can’t wait!  I’ll still get my NOLA fix 😀

The Tolbert business meeting was held last weekend and the music this year at the cook off is going to be amazing!!! I can’t wait! And....we have such a killer camping spot so that we can sit up at camp and still hear the music perfectly. I’m really looking forward to going this year. 

Speaking of Tolbert. I organized a North Texas Tolbert Chili Group in an effort to organize more Tolbert and Verde CCOs in the N. Texas area as well as make chili cooks more aware of the existing Tolbert cook offs in this area. The response has been fabulous and I think everyone is really excited to have an organized group in this area to bounce questions off of, post cook offs and help organize more cook offs. You can find us on FB by searching for the North Texas Tolbert Chili Group. The group is public so anyone can see cook off posts, results, etc. 

I’m going to sneak in some Yoga tomorrow and Saturday morning but expect to be slinging spices all weekend. Marching practice is in full swing so I’m back to being TJoL&D’s car service. I don't feel like we had much of a summer break. She was either at the band hall helping out or at band camp. And if she wasn’t at either of those places, she and I were sleeping in a parking lot to get barricade for Twenty One Pilots. I bought floor seats and that was her Christmas present. But 2nd row (where we were the last time she saw them) wasn’t enough and this time she wanted on the barricade. Well, the little shit talked me into sleeping in a tent for two nights and guess what - she got barricade. And really, y’all know how much I love my kid so I’m not really bitching about her. But damn! It took me a week to recover from that shit. And I’m not exaggerating when I say I ended up in the hospital for two days after that experience! I’m serious! That messed me up. But anyways. Twenty One Pilots fans are not like Radiohead fans. I may have pulled a girl's hair for pushing in between me and my kid 😇

I’m off to bed. Poor substitute for co-pilot seat while Lord B drives like a bat out of hell to get us to Ruby Slipper for breakfast. But I’ll manage 😛

Spreading my own special brand of kindness and joy!

SM